Things i really don’t love about it: the noise, oh my god, there are speakers on street corners (every corner of the big zebra crossings) blaring i don’t know what public information or radio station or something; the high pitched street vendors’ calls which go up at the end in a squeaky question and are given endless identical repetitions; the deranged glockenspiel player who has recorded the entire Beatles back catalogue as a lovely series of jingles to be played on train stations while we are waiting, or at which the train is about to arrive if we are already on it. The roads looping all over the place, often high up on flyovers going past someone’s bedroom window – Spaghetti Junction doesn’t begin to cover it, it’s mayhem, and yet incredibly orderly, with endless officials waving flashing batons and controlling it all. The concrete – hardly a tree in sight, except for a few parks here and there – like Docklands on steroids – because the city is so new, having been earthquaked badly in 1922 and then firebombed to the ground in WW2. Not much of it left, even the shrines are re-builds, but there is an occasional real ‘old’ house now and then. it explains why Kyoto and areas outside Tokyo are so valued, becuase there is virtually nothing old here and it may become the next Venice, sinking beneath the weight of its own concrete.
Tokyo is a seriously bananas city. Things i love about it: it’s so efficient it’s like a machine; trains on time, amazing levels of information, signs in English,although few people speak it. It’s so clean and tidy – no garbage, no graffiti, clean streets, cleaner trains, no dog poo. This is a seriously obedient society, which can cut both ways but manifests positively in – no mobiles on the trains, no eating/drinking on trains and hardly ever in public at all; olympic quality queueing, including lines painted on the train platform to show you where/how; they have no real way of saying NO, which has to be a very optimistic way to live; they are amazingly helpful – people are paid to lurk around on stations and be helpful if you are clearly lost – even if they speak not a word of English they will somehow get us onto the right train. Courteously and with much bowing. The food – totally heavenly, i don’t know where to start. Had a truly great meal a couple of days ago in a total dive with not a single European in sight. The Onsen – mineral spa baths, which are outdoors, and in which you lie, gazing at the sky, bubbling with goodness and gradually becoming prune-like until it’s time for a beer and a massage. We went to one out of Tokyo and were the only Euros, again.
Clare McCaldin performed fantastically… It’s rare that a one-woman show can be so clever and funny without dragging towards the end